Somebody call Disney…
Posted on June 27, 2007
by: Big Jar
…there’s some serious money to be made out of this!
In the year 2000, a young Cardinals pitcher named Rick Ankiel completed his first major league season. Despite being only twenty years old at the time, Ankiel won eleven games for the NL Central Champion Cardinals and struck out one hundred and ninety four batters in one hundred and seventy five innings. He finished second that year in the rookie of the year ballot to Atlanta Braves shortstop Raphael Furcal and seemed well on the way to becoming a major league star.
However, Ankiel struggled with his control that year in the playoffs and couldn’t seem to hit the strike zone. He completed four innings of work for the Cardinals in October, but walked eleven batters in that span and gave up seven earned runs. The next year at spring training, Ankiel was still unable to throw strikes. Most of his pitches sailed above and beyond the strike zone, as if he were some kind of wild and crazy pitcher in a zany baseball movie. Ankiel pitched thirty four more innings in the major leagues before calling it quits.
Ankiel had always been known for his prowess with the bat, so he decided to make a position switch to the outfield. History was not on his side–there has been only one major leaguer who has successfully transitioned from pitching to hitting at the major league level. Ankiel is a talented athlete, but not that talented.
However, after years of toiling in obscurity at the minor league level, it appears as though Ankiel is almost ready to make his return. He was named as a starting outfielder to the AAA All-Star game this year, and leads the Pacific Coast League with nineteen home runs. The Cardinals are playing miserably this year and need serious offensive help. Call the man up to the major leagues! You have nothing to lose except a massive upturn in ticket sales and the licensing rights to his story. Wouldn’t it be nice to have Rick Ankiel toys included with every Happy Meal?
Comments
One Response to “Somebody call Disney…”
Leave a Reply
Rick Ankiel tried to touch me in a very uncomfortable spot one time, and it’s kind of a touchy subject… Can I have you not bring that up again please? Thanks… Dr.P