Hyper Hypocrites
Posted on July 19, 2007
by: Big Jar
Florida Representative Bob Allen
David Vitter has been hogging the headlines recently, due to his recent involvement with a D.C. prostitute. This story has been especially salient, since Vitter has been an overly zealous advocate of “family values” and was one of the main pushers behind Clinton’s impeachment.
However, no one has said anything about Republican Congressman Bob Allen, who was arrested on July 11th for soliciting a male undercover police officer for oral sex at a public rest stop.
What is hilarious about this is that Allen was not trying to get a blowjob from the police officer–he was trying to suck the police officer’s cock and he wanted to pay the police officer for it.
Listen, if Allen wants to suck some penises, I think he should. I think that anyone should be able to suck anything in America; otherwise, we aren’ t really free, are we?
No, the problem is that people like Allen continually condemn homosexuality as an immoral choice, they spend taxpayer money to prohibit gays from getting married and deny funding for homosexual causes–and then they get caught with a pair of balls in their mouth. If I weren’t dying of laughter right now, I’d be really pissed off that our government is so densely populated with so many hypocritical, lying, incompetant assholes.
Aside: Did you know that if you are a woman getting an abortion at Planned Parenthood, you have to sign a waiver saying that you will not pursue legal action against the clinic? Apparently they got a little worried, because so many women were saying, “Listen, I’m getting an abortion, but I’m still pro-life. I think abortions should be illegal.”
The problem with the fanatic religious right’s vision of the world is that it’s unsustainable. They’re the only ones who believe in it and even they can’t maintain their own untenable standards because the arbitrary rules they’ve set up are impossible to live by!
Anyway, I think I’m going to write a short radio drama about Bob Allen and Mark Foley’s love affair in a Florida prison. Stay tuned! There will be lots and lots and lots of gay prison sex. Maybe I’ll end it with the two of them storming the Capitol building and submitting legislation that allows them to get married, but not any other same-sex couples.
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